i think i should've died about four times.

it's a damn good thing no one reads my blog, because i am about to make a horribly embarrassing confession.

you guys remember jack osbourne? i'll refresh your memory:



that kid. you know, not kelly, not sharon, not ozzy, close to being one of the hundreds of dogs, but not quite...

the image above is who we of the mtv generation are all familiar with, right?

this is what he looks like now:



I KNOW, RIGHT!?!?!

the fact that he is now at least moderately good looking and out of rehab makes this all the more painful to state:

i loved jack osbourne.

... WHEN HE WAS FAT.

mind you, i never like, dreamed about him daily or talked about him or anything, because i would've died of shame, but i most definitely snuck and watched the osbournes for the simple joy of looking at his unruly hair.


there.

keeping that secret for close to seven years was my last scrap of dignity.

i hope you enjoyed it.


i'd like to wrap up by mentioning two things:

1. i hate elijah wood. sorry, america, but he's short and, for lack of a better way to put it, looks STUPID.
2. there's something inherently hilarious to me about buying a shirt with an anarchy sign on it. (don't worry though, i have one.)